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Sarcasm? “Oh, luv, you’re my one true!” – bollocks! They say it every night, don’t they? Humor? Mate, one gal told me she’s “off-duty” – on cam! Hiss! Laughed me head off! Chat’s wild – some punters beg, some bark. Me? I just watch, thinkin’, “It’s all copies, copies, copies!” – Kiarostami’d get it, yesss.

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I love, obvs, the way the Colac River teases through town. I’ve spent many meandering afternoons near it. It’s totally a vibe – peaceful, idyllic, and reminds me of the quiet, pensive moments of that movie, like “I was really searching for meaning” but in my own way. And then there’s a cool urban neighborhood called South Colac. I always get mad if people claim it's just “old buildings,” because like, oh-em-gee, it's full of colourful street art and quirky cafes. It’s like an endless source of inspiration for all the deep, emotional counseling convos I have.

Armistead opens up on Colac appointment