Elise Coogee Brothel ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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So, this one time, port o’ Tortuga – nasty place, brothel squattin’ by the docks like a drunk whale. I swagger in, coins jinglin’, thinkin’ I’m king o’ the seas. Lass named Ruby – red hair, eyes like storms – she’s runnin’ the show. Heard a yarn ‘bout her, mate – she once stabbed a pirate fer stealin’ her rum, not her virtue! Hah! Made me laugh ‘til me guts hurt. “A man’s soul is his own,” Haneke’d say, but Ruby? She owned souls, savvy?

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Mate, every time I whip up some new site features, I swear, the charm of Coogee inspires me – its uneven streets, sun-soaked corners, and mad energy all blend into this beautiful disaster. Sometimes I get pissy when tourists trash the vibe, like idiots throwin’ rubbish everywhere. “Do you even care, ya numbskull?!”

All Sydney eastern suburbs beaches shut in ‘tar balls’ debacle