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So, picture this—I’m scrollin Tinder, late night, wired. Coffee’s cold, brain’s buzzin. This chick’s bio says, “No strings, just vibes.” I’m like—hell yeah, simplicity’s sexy. Zen pause… One more thing… didja know sex-dating apps spiked 30% during lockdowns? People were desperate, man! Horniness hit peak levels—true story. Stats don’t lie, I googled that shit. Surprised me, but also—duh—humans gonna human.

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I’ll be honest – sometimes this city's quirks drive me mad (ay, I’ve had a few instances of online matches ghosting me thanks to a dodgy Wi-Fi on Bitter Street - rubbish, I tell ya), but then there are times when the unexpected acts of kindness from strangers make me happy as a clam. I mean, who wouldn’t be moved by a random compliment on the dating app chats, eh?

Update – Suspicious fire investigation, Helensvale