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About Melbourne

Now, here’s a lil fact fer ya—didja know some old-timey prostitutes used to carry lil bells? Jingled when they walked, lettin folks know they was open fer business! Ain’t that a hoot? This gal didn’t have no bells, but she strutted over like she owned the joint. “What’s yer deal, cowboy?” she says, voice raspy as a gravel road. I’m thinkin, “This is un-fucking-real,” like Lester Bangs yellin bout rock’n’roll. Made me happy as a pig in mud—finally somethin wild!

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Man, I got mad once – like, REALLY mad – ‘cause the local council tried to block off one of those killer little pathways to the native bushland near Echo Point. I mean, come on! Nature's our friend, right? Always reminding me, "You mustn't be afraid to challenge the system" – or wait, was it "We’re on a mission, people?" Eh, either way, pupil-bling flares up!

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