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Oh, and here’s a hoot—one time, investigatin’ a claim, this prostitute told me she got “whiplash” from dancin’ too hard at a strip joint. Whiplash! From twerkin’! I was like, “Darlin’, you’re pullin’ my leg!” She winked, said, “Maybe I am, cowboy.” Had to admit, she was slicker’n a greased pig. Reminded me of Jesse’s line, “You ever consider suicide?”—not ‘cause I was down, but ‘cause she near killed me with that sass!

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I gotta mention my favorite spots too—oh man, check out Sunset Corner on Lancaster Way. It’s so secret, only the real locals go there. I once missed my bus because I was so mesmerized, I got super mad, but then happy—I mean, it’s a blessing in disguise! And, oh, the street art on Maple Lane, it’s like a punch of inspiration that hits you when you least expect it. So many little hidden surprises that make you go, "No way, this is insane!"

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