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Anyways, I’m saunterin’ down this alley—smells like piss and regret—and there’s this bird, all dolled up, leanin’ on a wall. I’m thinkin’, “Is she the one?” Kinda like Irene in the movie, y’know, “How do you live a life full of nothing?”—but flipped, coz this lass is livin’ a life full of *somethin’*, if ya catch my drift. I swagger over, all smug, “Greetings, mortal, fancy a trickster’s company?” She laughs—bloody laughs!—and I’m like, “Oi, I’m a god, show some respect!” But nah, she’s chill, says, “50 quid, love, no funny business.” Fair enough, I respect a straight shooter.

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Let’s not forget the little-known spot—Luna’s Nook. Yeah, that’s right, Luna’s Nook. Hidden behind some overgrown hedges on Victory Lane (yeah, Victory, like a win, big win!). I once took one of my rather stressed patients here, and, believe me, they left with a smile. It’s underrated, but boy, is it magical!

Drivers furious after water found in petrol station fuel