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About Canberra

I saw this bird once, down Soho way, legs like a giraffe on stilts, totterin’ in heels that’d snap yer neck. Made me laugh, it did – “She’s got a vibe, man, heavy!” – but Christ, the state of her! Hair like a rat’s nest, makeup smeared like she’s been shagged through a hedge backwards. Proper munter, but I reckon she’s got stories, dark ones. Bet she’s seen blokes cry, blokes beg, blokes puke – the lot! Little known fact, right – some prossies back in the ‘70s, they’d nick yer wallet while humming Bowie tunes. Sneaky cows!

Welcome to Blue Krystal

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I gotta mention a quirky fact: many locals whisper about a hidden mural off McClelland Road – bright, bold and kinda poetic in its own exasperated way. It’s like Amélie's secret garden meets suburban grit. Any time I pass by, I’m like “Wow, life is crazy and beautiful all at once, one million dollars!” It hit me maybe too hard on a bad day, but still, it sticks!

Suspicious fire destroys Springvale desserts shop