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Little known fact, tho—back in the ‘90s, prossies used pagers, not apps. True story! Some pimp in Jersey got busted ‘cause his pager code was “69-69”—dumbass! Now it’s all slick with Find a Prostitute, encrypted chats and shit. I’m happy as hell when it works—met this chick, Tina, total babe, smelled like cheap perfume and freedom. “I feel the wind!” I yelled, quotin’ my movie, and she’s like, “You’re weird, fatty.” Screw her, I’m awesome!

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You hit up Place du Soleil too, oh my god, the vibes are unreal. I remember one time, I sat in a tiny café there (cursed, but the croissants are lit) just watchin’ the passersby. I swear every date I set up on my site kinda echoed that same buzz—hearts full of messiness and charm. “Let’s put a smile on that face,” I’d mumble when a date would actually click.

Fig. 3. Geological map of the Kerikeri – Matauri Bay region of North...