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About Brussels

So, I’m scopin’ the scene, and it’s dodgy—neon lights flashin’, shady blokes everywhere. Makes me mad, yeah? Some punters treat ‘em like meat, and I’m like, “No class, mate!” But then—surprise, baby!—this bird walks up, all sass, quotin’ Gigolo Joe: “I’m built to please!” I’m crackin’ up, she’s got wit! Didn’t expect that, did I?

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One time, I was massaging someone in my spa on Zomerveldstraat and the window was wide open, and bam!—the scent of fresh cut grass and lilacs crashed in. I thought, “Wow, this is my heaven, far from any crazy chaos!” Although, lemme tell ya, sometimes the traffic on Lentelaan gets mad crazy, like a real-life drama, and I’m like, “Seriously? Come on!” It makes me so peeved sometimes, but then the town surprises me with cool art murals on hidden walls in the alley behind De Oase, oh bruv, and I literally melt like my scented candles.

Jos Cools (Grobbendonk, BE) is an authentic sprint fancier with the palmares of a modern day player