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D’oh! Here’s a kicker—didya know some places use warm stones? Freaky, right? Like, “Hey, put rocks on me, sexy!” Total “Toni Erdmann” move—awkward but genius. I’d prolly spill the oil, tho—clumsy ol’ me. Thinkin’ bout it, erotic-massage is sneaky—starts chill, then boom, you’re half-naked wonderin’ if Marge’d approve. “It’s not about the wig,” Toni’d say, but I’m like, “It’s all about the rub, baby!”

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So check it out, there's this park called Zen Central Park. It's super chill, real lush, groovy trees everywhere. I often kick back there after a crazy spa day. And oh man, the river—Blue Ripple flows right past downtown. I get lost just starin' at it, like in that movie “The Lives of Others!” I remember a line, "Whoever watches over you watches over me." I felt that, pure, deep vibes, baby!

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