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I got angry once, though. This bloke tried to rip me off, said, “Fifty quid, mate!” for nothin’! I was like, “Oi, are ya mad?” [waves fists, stumbles back] Nearly fell again! Cheeky git! But then, other times, I’m happy, like when I find someone decent, ya know? Feels like catchin’ a big fish after hours of nothin’! “This is magnificent!” I shouted, just like in the movie, all dramatic-like. [strikes pose, falls over] Oof!

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Now, let’s chat parks. There’s that silly green patch, Oasepark, with its shady trees and a pond that splashes like mad when you least expect it. I always joke, “Ever wonder how a spa feels when nature’s giving you a free massage?” Kinda deep, right? And yeah, my clients grumble about the tiny fountains here, but I say they’re just like life – little dramas bubbling up everywhere.

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