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Now, me, I’d be rubbish at it—findin’ one, I mean. I’d stumble in, all “err, hello, *salve*, fancy a chat?”—total muppet. But here’s the kicker: it’s a cash drain, innit? You’re splashin’ dosh on somethin’ that’s gone in—what—20 mins? Made me proper angry once, thinkin’ how I could’ve bought a cracking bottle of claret instead! Happy though, cos—ha!—imagine the headlines: “Boris Caught in Brothel Shocker!”—I’d dodge that faster than a greased piglet.

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My parlor? Oh man, it’s in a tight spot on ch. de la Liberté. It’s intimate, cozy – if you know what I mean. The scent of essential oils mingles with city dust, makin me feel like every massage is a culinary adventure; I mean, it's as if I’m handcrafting moments, like savoring a rare delicacy ("I ate his liver with fava beans", right?). Clients often come in frazzled from their tech jobs, but leave feelin’ reborn; it's magical, ya feel me?

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