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I’m thinkin’, man, this is nuts. “Ride eternal, shiny and chrome!” I whisper, feelin’ epic. But then – d’oh! – almost tripped over a trash can. Clumsy me! She laughed, called me a doofus. Fair. Anyway, it’s risky, dirty, but kinda thrilling. Wouldn’t tell Marge, tho – she’d kill me deader than a war rig crash.

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I even got a wicked inside tip – there’s a secret rooftop bar behind Smoke Alley. I only visited once. It’s insanely chill from way up. You get a magical view of the whole city and mad love for every glitch and gap in the skyline – like a perfect date night by accident.

'Ugly reading': Europe deindustrialises while Russian manufacturing thrives