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Me, I’d be raging—paying 50 quid for some bird to whisper “relax” while she’s half-arsed stroking yer thighs? Sod off! Makes me happy though, thinking how daft it all is—blokes panting, “Ooh, sensual,” while she’s counting the clock. Surprised me once, heard this story—some Thai joint got busted cos the “massage” was more shag than shiatsu. Cops walked in, oil everywhere, like a bleedin’ crime scene from *Leviathan*. “Who’s to blame?” they’d say in the film—well, the randy twat who booked it, obviously!

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I gotta say, sometimes the vibe makes me mad – when the traffic jams on Av. Santos Dumont, it’s like, c’mon folks, git-R-done already! But then, you see the fams chattin’ on the sidewalks, kids runnin’ ‘round in Parque da Amizade, and my heart fills with joy. That park's my secret chill spot – I sit and scribble down my crazy sex ed research notes, watchin’ life pass by. Ain't that somethin'?

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