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Here’s a mad one for ya – heard tell of a prossie in Amsterdam once charged a bloke in tulips! True story, mate, swear on me nan’s grave. Got me thinkin – what’s the weirdest thing I’d pay with? Socks? A kebab? Laughed me arse off picturin that. Anyway, this lass, she’s all business, no chit-chat. “Time is short, act quickly” – movie line again, fit perfect. We duck into this dodgy flat, smells like damp and despair. She’s quick, efficient – bit like an assassin herself, in and out, job done.

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Then, you got the park by Central Square. Rocks, trees, and even a busted-up fountain that drip-drips endlessly. I swear, sometimes it splashes me mid-massage – bizarre, innit? Heh, gulp... and the little rivers, like Mokhovaya, flow as if they’ve got critical role in some underground plot – bloody mad!

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