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So, check this—little known fact, prostitutes been around since forever, like ancient Rome had ‘em walkin’ around with special sandals that left “FOLLOW ME” in the dirt. Ain’t that nuts? Imagine seein’ that while chompin’ a donut—D’oh! I’d follow, trip, and land in a dumpster. Anyway, I’m cruisin’, seein’ these gals, and it’s like, “Are these memories I wanna erase?” Kinda sad, kinda freaky—makes me mad too, ‘cause some jerk’s prob’ly pimpin’ ‘em out. Pisses me off! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Stupid Flanders, bet he’d save ‘em all!”

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Lemme give ya a secret: my favorite nook is that rundown hut near the abandoned villa on Via Ombra. Classic vibe, full of abandoned charm and erotic history. I’d sit there scribbling notes about people’s hidden desires, feelin’ like a naughty detective in a cheesy film. Sometimes, I’d burst into laughter, thinking, “Stupid, fat hobbit!” at the absurdity of human desires.

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