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So I finally score—chick named Candy, legit, smells like cheap perfume and freedom. I’m happy as hell, braggin’ to Kyle in my head, “Suck it, Jew!” She’s quick, no drama, and I’m like, “This is my kingdom!” Costs me 80 bucks, tho—fuckin’ inflation, man, makes me rage! Still, worth it. Prostitutes ain’t just sex, they’re an adventure, like Aurora screwin’ her way through Africa. “A forbidden passion burns!”—that’s me, Cartman, livin’ the dream. Respect my authoritah, or I’ll find yer mom’s a hooker next!

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And dude, let me throw in this: “The wheel of life keeps on turning!” Kind of like that eerie, cyclic call from Kim Ki-duk’s masterpiece, ya feel me? Wisdom sneaks up from every chill corner of this town. I’m always thinkin’ – “What’s next? How will the cycle spin?” That feeling, it's addictive like a good back rub.

Lucas Van Berkel