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About Bern

Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic, mate. I’m peekin’ round corners, all sneaky-like, then – whoops! – step in somethin’ squishy. Dog poo? Oh, brill! Me shoe’s a right mess now, hoppin’ about, flailin’ – classic Bean, eh? Gets me mad, though – why’s it always me? But then, happy kicks in – see this lass, all dolled up, winkin’ at me. “Oi, fancy a chat?” she goes. Heart’s racin’, I’m sweatin’ buckets – surprised me, that did!

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There's the quiet river Flumenthal. Its flow is soft, like a whisper in an empty room. I'm always watchin’ it, thinkin’ ‘bout life’s twists. Sometimes, it's like a comfy hug. "I want to feel everything," I say. And you do too, right?

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