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Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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I gotta say, the bus rides are a wild ride too. Ever taken the minibus along Ruta 7? It's a rag-tag bunch of folks, talkin’ and laughin’ so hard, sometimes I'm sitting there thinkin’, “This is real life, folks!” And yeah, sometimes the bus driver, old Pete, cracks jokes about local gossip—like how the mayor nearly fell in love with a street artist on Paseo de la Luna. Shucks, you wouldn't believe it.

Midland Police confirms shooting at Our Lady of Guadalupe Church's Fair