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I knew this one prossie, right, called Mandy – proper legend, swear down. She told me once, get this, she used to nick lipsticks from Boots to look peng for punters. Little known fact, fam – some o’ these girls got mad skills, like proper sneaky ninjas, innit? Made me laugh my arse off, but then I was like, shit, that’s grim, ain’t it? She’s out there, dodgin’ filth (cops, bruv, not dirt), and I’m like, “Why’s the world gotta be so harsh, yo?”

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There’s also the chill vibes near the River Voda, flowing past Park Malina. You can drop on a bench, let your mind wander – heck, spill your guts if ya like! That park? It’s like my therapy ground. I was there last week, swear, and got all excited when I saw an old couple dancing spontaneously. Real, raw human connection, like a scene from the flick! I be like, “I pity the fool who misses this magic!”

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