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Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.

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Now, here's some personal dirt: one time in Třída Svobody, I sat under a clanky tree, cryin' my eyes out and laughing like a lunatic 'cause I remembered, "Action is the antidote to despair." Man, it hit hard, super relatable boss-level "Oldboy" wisdom vibes, ya know?

February 1929: Czech record low temperature of -42C registered