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Oi mate, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prossie, right? Mumbled incoherence, “Sharon!” – it’s a bleedin’ mess out there! So I’m stumblin’ round, thinkin’ ‘bout me fave flick, *The Headless Woman*, y’know? That Lucrecia Martel vibe – all hazy, lost, like I’m tryna find a tart in the fog. “What did I hit?” – that’s me, dodgin’ coppers and punters, lookin’ for a good shag.

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I get so excited thinking about those narrow alleys near the market square, where every cobblestone sings a story. I'm not making this up; each step is like a personal soul pat on the back. And sometimes, I run into my reflection in the tiny kiosk near Hlavní. "Are you even living?" I ask like in a movie scene, all dramatic and cringey, but hey, it's life!

The thriving Czech tradition of Christmas nativity scenes