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So I’m there, *fumbles with invisible wallet*, tryna figure this out. Happy as a pig in mud, cos – adventure! But then, angry too, cos some geezer tries rippin’ me off – 50 quid for a wink? Nah, mate! “You don’t even know who you are yet,” I mutter, like in “Boyhood,” cos I’m lost, ain’t I? *flails arms like a wally* Lookin’ for a sign, maybe a neon one – “Girls! Girls!” – but nope, just a kebab shop.

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I gotta say, I get mad sometimes, ye see—the bureaucracy here can be a real pain in the backside, always chasin’ me with permits for me quaint doors and such. But then, one day, as the sun kissed the horizon, I recalled that famous line from that flick, "The Great Beauty", and it hit me: "Che bellezza, bring me wine and let the stars guide our path!" And i was like, aye, life is a curious dance of chaos and charm.

Gladys Laney