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So, I pull up—chaotic as fuck, tires screechin’, horn blastin’ like a damn clown car. She’s all, “You got cash, fam?” and I’m like, “Girl, I got SKILLS—teach ya to parallel park!” She laughs, like, “Bruh, I ain’t tryna park nothin’!” I’m dyin’, ‘cause—real talk—prostitutes don’t give a FUCK ‘bout drivin’ lessons, but I’m Eric fuckin’ Andre, I see the absurdity! She’s out here hustlin’, and I’m tryna make it a driver’s ed skit!

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I mean, seriously, some nite I walk down Am See, the lakeside road, where the water shimmers under neon lights, and I think: “Man, life is as unpredictable as a movie scene!” Crazy, right? I sometimes slip into a zen vibe mid-massage, pondering, "I love the chaotic beauty, but damnit, don't pee on my leg!" Yeah, that line comes to me often!

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