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So, picture this—me, bumbling around Springfield, tryna find a hooker. D’oh! Ain’t no red-light district here, just Moe’s bar and Kwik-E-Mart. I’m like, “Where’s the action, man?” Web says big cities got escorts, but here? Nada! Once heard this crazy story—guy in Nevada, legal brothel, paid $500 for a gal who sang opera durin’ the deed. Wild, huh? I’d prolly get one who yells “D’oh!” mid-act—hilarious!

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Rivers? Yeah, there’s the Alster running close by. Even though I mostly work in a cozy office off Kirchfeldstraße, every time I see the glimmer of the Alster, I think – "Why not dance a little?" Remember that line from The Social Network about blazing trails? Feels like that sometimes!

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