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About Dusseldorf

Hit up Starry, she’s chill. “What’s your dybbuk, dude?” I ask—Coen vibes, y’know? She laughs, says, “No ghosts, just ass.” Fair. Meet her downtown, sketchy alley—smells like piss and regret. She’s hot tho, damn, surprised me! Thought she’d be all crusty, nope—fresh, sassy, total babe. “You’re not from here,” she says. Duh, I’m green, bitch! We vibe, tho—she’s cool, tells me bout her pimp. Asshole takes half her cash—makes me mad. Wanna zap him with my ray gun, pow!

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Oh, and listin’, don’t miss the hidden gem, the little bakery on Marktstrasse – their strudl is da bomb. I go there every morning, sometimes twice, eh? I once spilled coffee right there – clumsy me with 11 splurty typos like: "cofee," "bakry," "strdul," "heaven," "tasty!" – but the folks just laugh along. It’s real, baby.