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Now, Melancholia—my fave flick—hits me hard. “The Earth is evil,” Kirsten Dunst mopes, and I’m like, damn right, love, but a good erotic-massage? That’s the cure! Imagine Justine, all moody, sprawled out, some lucky sod working her knots—slow, deep, proper filthy. “No more work to be done,” she’d mutter, half-dead, while I’d yell, “Oi, get those hands moving, you lazy git!” Makes me happy, that—turns a shit day into gold. But if they half-arse it? Rage! I’d chuck a lamp—fucking amateurs!

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Now, lemme rant: man, the traffic on Bahnhofstraße drives me cray! I mean, seriously, it’s like the cosmos are messing with me! But then I laugh 'cause as Melancholia said (yep, that flick is my jam), "the universe is not only stranger than we imagine; it is stranger than we can imagine." True that, right?

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