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But lemme tell ye, it’s a mess out there! Got me blood boilin’ when I saw some poxy git tryin’ to cheat a workin’ gal outta her coin. “This is my design,” I mutters, like Lenny’d say—me own code, see? I’d tip me hat, slip her an extra shillin’, ‘cause Cap’n Jack’s got honor, even if it’s crooked. Ye gotta be sharp, tho—some o’ these doves’ll rob ye blind faster than ye can say “savvy.” Once, I woke up—rum gone, pockets empty, lass nowhere. “Where’s it gone?” I slurred, soundin’ like Lenny losin’ his blasted notes again.

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But seriously, mate, Varde is more than a canvas for erotic escapades. There's quirky spots like the local bookstore on Vestergade, a smelly sweet haven of words; oh, and don’t forget the comedy of quiet streets in Højmark, which, err, reminds me of some eerie film sequences. Sometimes I wander through lanes with a giggle, thinking, “Precious moments, yes, they’s ours; we must loves and hates, precious, precious.”

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