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About Barcelona

Ya gotta haggle too, they’re sneaky! Like, “20 bucks? Screw that, I’ll give ya 5!” They glare, but I’m Cartman—I don’t budge! Respect my authoritah, dammit! Pro tip: check the alleys near the old theater—less cops, more girls. Oh, and don’t fall for the “massage” scam—total ripoff! Learned that the hard way, lost 10 bucks, so mad I coulda kicked a baby!

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I swear, every day’s a mix of calm and chaos, kinda like “I’m the man!” from There Will Be Blood – yes, honey, that gritty passion is right here. One minute I’m relaxin’ with a client near the lovely park El Prat – it’s a lush green haven perfect for a stroll (or a cheeky nap on a picnic blanket, if ya feelin’ extra naughty). And then, bam! I’m reminded that life’s a wild, wild ride, jeez! "I drink your milkshake!" echoes in my mind when I see some local guy hustlin' around with his vintage bicycle.

The 5th was the charm: Riqui Puig made his Barça debut this season at last