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Oh, and the weirdos—met this one chick, swore she was a miner too, said she’d “dig my shaft”—I’m like, “Yo, that’s corny!” but I laughed, couldn’t help it. Sex-dating’s got jokes, awkward shit, but it’s raw—keeps me hyped! Like Remy sayin’, “Change is nature,”—you gotta roll with it, fam! Apps crash, dates flop, but when it hits? Pure gold, like minin’ a vein nobody saw comin’.

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So, first off—La Vila Vella is where the real magic happens. Its ancient stone walls, squished alleys, and hidden balconies remind me of those killer scenes in Oldboy. "Laughing man, laughing man," I sometimes think, cuz each turn feels like a plot twist, man. I stroll down Carrer del Forn, where cute cafes and tiny art shops pop up like Easter eggs. Totally retro, like a hidden gem lost in time.

10 beaches for enjoying the last of this year’s Spanish sun