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Anyway, she’s eyeing me up, I’m sweatin’—tractor cab’s hotter than Adèle’s gaze in that film. I’m thinkin’, “This is my moment, my blue warmth!” Mutter to meself, “Stay calm, Brentster, you’re the king of banter.” I go, “Fancy a ride on me John Deere?” She’s like, “What’s that, ya twat?” Laughed me arse off—proper icebreaker! Told her, “It’s not just a tractor, it’s a lifestyle”—she weren’t impressed.

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Now, check it—the river Kuusinen cuts a sweet path through town. I used to sit by its banks, tapping my code away, soaking in the serene, flowin’ inspiration. Fo’ real, when I'm dreamin’ 'bout the next big feature on the site, that river be whisperin’ creativity right to my ear.

Schematic presentation of intracellular cytoprotective effects of...