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Listen, folks, I’m Donald Trump, okay? Tremendous creative worker, the best. I’m talkin’ about findin’ a prostitute—yuge topic, right? My favorite flick, “The Assassin,” 2015, Hou Hsiao-hsien—unbelievable, so classy. Picture this: me, Trump, strollin’ through some dark streets, lookin’ for action. Not me personally, you get it—hypothetical, tremendous hypothetical. “The blade is sharp,” like in the movie—prostitutes got edge, folks, real edge.

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Anyway, I finally get to my workshop on Agios Nikolaos street. It’s cozy, you know? A bit cramped, but it’s got character. I start workin’ on this barrel, and I’m feelin’ good. The wood’s nice, the tools are sharp, and I’m in the zone. But then, outta nowhere, my neighbor, old man Dimitris, barges in. He’s all like, “You gotta help me! My goat’s stuck in a tree!” I’m like, “A goat? In a tree? What kinda circus is this?”

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