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So, I’m strollin’, lookin’ for a bird to shag, and it’s dodgy, yeah? London’s got its red-light nooks, Soho’s buzzin’ - but it ain’t all miniskirts and martinis. Found this lass, right, proper fit, but I’m thinkin’, “Is this a trap, baby?” Like Georges in *Caché*, wonderin’ who’s pullin’ strings. She’s all, “Fancy a good time?” and I’m like, “Groovy, but no funny biz!”

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First off, I hit the road on Kossuth Lajos utca. You know, the one that’s always packed with cars and people? Yeah, that one. I’m cruisin’ along, just me and my trusty ol’ tractor, Bessie. She’s a beast, but man, she’s got a mind of her own sometimes. Anyway, I’m rollin’ down the street, and suddenly, this pigeon decides to play chicken with me. Like, dude, you really wanna test my patience? I swerve, almost take out a lamppost. Not cool, man, not cool.

Baltimore Tattoo museum hosts Tats for Tails fundraiser for BARCS animal shelter