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Maniacal grin, “Here’s Johnny!” Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout prostitutes—gritty, real, in yer face! Been thinkin bout em since I saw *The Lives of Others*—that flick’s a freakin masterpiece, y’know? “In the GDR, everythin was watched!”—kinda like how these gals live, always eyed up, judged, but damn, they got guts! Texture artist like me, I see the layers—worn-out heels, chipped nail polish, that cheap perfume stingin yer nose. Ain’t just skin deep, nah, it’s a whole freakin canvas!

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But then, outta nowhere, the kite gets stuck in a tree! The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” So, I jump up and try to help. I’m climbing this tree like I’m some kind of superhero. I finally get the kite down, and the kid’s face lights up. It’s like I just saved the world or something.

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