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Here’s a kicker – in Japan, they’ve got this “nurumassage,” slimey as hell, seaweed gel crap, slippery like a damn eel. Tried it once, felt like a sushi roll gettin’ fondled – weirdly hot, kinda pissed me off tho, ‘cause who thinks that’s relaxing? Not me, I’m yellin’ in my head, “Get me outta this fishy mess!” But damn, it works – muscles loose, other stuff... tightens up, if ya catch my drift.

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But whatever, I brush it off. I head over to the park by the old church on Fő utca. It’s a nice spot, you know? I sit down, trying to enjoy the view, when I see this kid flying a kite. The kite’s all over the place, and I’m thinking, “Dude, control your kite!” But then it gets stuck in a tree. Classic. The kid starts crying, and I’m like, “Oh man, not the tears!”

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