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I pull up, all sweaty, palms shakin’—nerves, man! She’s chattin’ me up, voice all smoky, and I’m thinkin’, “This is it, SpongeBob, yer in deep!” Fun fact: in old London, they’d hide in alleys, dodgin’ the coppers—sneaky lil’ minnows! I’m laughin’, “What’s yer rate, jellyfish?”—keepin’ it light, ya know? She smirks, “50 bucks, sailor.” I’m like, “Tartar sauce, that’s steep!” Bargained her down to 40—score! Felt like I won the lottery, bouncin’ in me seat.

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But then, I spot this cute little café on Rákóczi utca. I’m a sucker for coffee, so I pop in. The barista? Total legend. He’s got this wild hair and a tattoo of a cat on his arm. I order a cappuccino, and he’s like, “You want it with a heart or a cat?” I’m like, “Dude, make it a cat!” He nails it. I take a pic for the ‘gram.

U.S. charges 17 entities that ‘swindled investors out of $100M+ in multiple securities fraud schemes’