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We duck into this shady alley—ooh, the thrill!—and she’s all business, no chitchat. I’m sweatin’, thinkin’, “This is better than hackin’ Harvard’s servers!” She’s quick, pro moves, and I’m like, “You’re the algorithm to my lonely night!” Total sailor jackpot, right? But—plot twist—she’s got a tattoo, “Winklevoss,” on her hip. I’m dyin’ laughin’—HA-HA-HA!—“Did the twins hire you too?” She rolls her eyes, “Sailor, you talk too much.” Fair, I’m a yapper!

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First off, I had to get ready for my Maiko gig. You know, the whole deal—kimono, makeup, the works. I was feeling cute, but then I realized I forgot my favorite hairpin. Ugh! It was like forgetting your phone. Total disaster. I dashed down Kossuth Lajos utca, dodging people like I was in a video game.

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