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Here’s da kicker—some say it’s all fake, just horny nonsense. But nah, it’s art, like Kiarostami’s camera tricks! “You see vhat you vant to see,” he says in da film—same here. Ya want relaxation? Boom, ya got it. Ya want somethin’ spicy? Heh, dey got dat too, sneaky devils. Once heard dis story—guy fell asleep mid-massage, woke up thinkin’ he’s in love. Ha! Dummy got played by da oil and a wink.

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I take a bite, and wow, it’s... interesting. I can’t tell if I love it or hate it. My face must’ve been priceless. Rudi’s dying laughing, and I’m just there, contemplating life choices.