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Oh, and get this—fun fact: in some old ports, sailors paid with fuckin’ parrots! Can ya imagine? “Here’s a bird, babe, let’s roll!” I’d lose my shit if she asked for my socket set instead of cash. Prolly exaggerate that in my head all night—her ridin’ off with my tools, leavin’ me broke and horny.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzed. It was my boss. He was like, “Where are you? You’re late!” I was like, “Dude, I’m in Labuhan-Deli livin’ my best life!” But I had to rush back.

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