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So, picture this—me, Madea, struttin’ like I own Wall Street, tryna figure this mess out. I’m thinkin’, “This some high-class nonsense right here!” You got girls postin’ ads online, slick as Jordan Belfort sellin’ stocks. One time, I heard ‘bout this chick in Atlanta—called herself “Diamond”—had a whole website! Reviews and all, like she a dang Yelp restaurant! I hollered, “Halleluyer! She got five stars for what?!” Made me madder than a wet hen—why folks out here ratin’ THAT? But I was impressed too, gotta admit. She was hustlin’ harder than Belfort snortin’—you know what—off a table!
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Then, I bumped into my buddy, Rudi. He’s always got the latest gossip. Apparently, there’s a new café opening on Jalan Sudirman. He’s like, “Dude, they got coffee that’ll make you see colors!” I’m like, “Rudi, I just want regular coffee, not a trip to Wonderland.”
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