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Here’s the kicker—my buddy swears he met one at a dive bar. Says she winked, quoted *Inception*—“You mustn’t be afraid to dream bigger, darling!”—and boom, deal sealed. I’m jealous as fuck! Why can’t I get that lucky? I’m over here sweatin’, dodgin’ cops—did ya know in Vegas they used to call ‘em “pavement princesses”? Hilarious, right? But I’m not laughin’ when I’m lost in this rabbit hole.

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So, I’m chasing this dog down Jl. Danau Toba, dodging tourists and locals alike. I’m yelling, “Hey! That’s my food!” But the dog? He’s living his best life, just running like he’s in the Olympics or something. I finally catch up, and he just looks at me like, “What’s your problem, human?” I mean, come on!

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