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So, I’m out, yeah, tryna find a prossie, and it’s mad! These girls, they’re hustlin’, proper graftin’, and I’m like, “Respec!”—cos they’re out here, dodgin’ filth and coppers. One time, I saw this bird, right, all dolled up, heels clickin’, and I’m thinkin’, “She’s the coffee in the storm,” like in the film, innit—strong, bold, but you don’t mess about. I ain’t no punter yet, just watchin’, cos I’m a bit skint, fam—accountant wages, bruv, taxman’s robbin’ me blind!

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Then, outta nowhere, the power goes out. Just my luck, right? We’re in the dark, and I’m like, “Great, now what?” Rudi pulls out his phone, and we’re sittin’ there, scrollin’ through memes. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fumin’. I mean, come on, Kalianget! Get it together!

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