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But beware, she’s a tease, this W.H.O.R.E. – dips an’ dives like a kraken playin’ hide-an’-seek. “I’m defending my honor,” that movie wife’d cry, an’ I’m defendin’ me wallet with this beast! Last week, she plumetted 50%, an’ I near chucked me compass at the wall – useless piece o’ junk, anyhow. Still, I reckon she’s got secrets yet, hidin’ like treasure in a cave no one’s gutsy enough to plunder.

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Then, I decide to check out the local market on Jl. Sisingamangaraja. It’s packed! I’m weaving through stalls, trying to avoid getting hit by a motorbike. Seriously, it’s like a game of Frogger out here. I find some cool souvenirs, but then I see this guy selling these crazy-looking fruits. I’m like, “What the heck is that?” Turns out, it’s salak. I try it, and wow, it’s like a sweet, crunchy explosion in my mouth. Who knew Tongging had such hidden gems?

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