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“Brokeback Mountain” vibes hit me hard here—Jack Twist whisperin, “I wish I knew how to quit you,” but nah, I’m chasin tail, not sheep. Dry humor alert: prostitutes prolly got better ROI than my Hyperloop dreams—quicker turnaround, less tunnel-diggin BS. Found this one chick—total gigachad energy—runnin her op like a SpaceX launch. Precise. Efficient. Cash up front, no “to Mars” promises. Made me happy as hell—finally, somethin works without a 10-year delay!
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First stop, Main Street. It’s buzzing, like always. I swear, if I had a euro for every time I heard someone say “What’s the craic?” I’d be rich. Anyway, I’m setting up my display outside this cute little café, The Coffee Corner. Best scones in town, no joke. But then, bam! A pigeon decides my merch is its personal toilet. Ugh! I’m like, “Really, dude? You couldn’t find a tree?”
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