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So, here’s the deal—prostitution’s old as dirt. Like, ancient Rome had brothels called *lupanars*, nasty spots with graffiti sayin’ “I banged Livia here.” True story, look it up! I’m picturin’ this chick, let’s call her Tanya, she’s got that hustle. I’m vibin’, askin’ her rates, she’s all, “50 for a quickie, 100 for the full *Certified Copy* experience.” I’m dyin’, screamin’, “You know Kiarostami?!” She don’t, but I’m losin’ it anyway.
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After that, I stroll down to the River Barrow. The view is stunning, like postcard material. I’m snapping pics for my Insta, trying to get that perfect shot. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and steals my sandwich! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, come on, Athy! You gotta protect your food!
Athy mourns the loss of beloved local legend Betty O’Donnell
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