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So, I’m watchin’ *Dogville*, thinkin’, “Grace, she’s fucked!” – same vibe with whores, yeah? Trapped, used, but they got power too, sneaky like. Makes me fuckin’ angry, man – blokes treatin’ ‘em like meat, but happy too, ‘cos some whores, they’re laughin’ to the bank! Surprised me, this one time, heard a whore in Soho once owned half the block – true story, mate, hushed up by the coppers!

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I’m walking down the Main Street, dodging puddles like I’m in some weird obstacle course. And then, BAM! I bump into Mrs. O’Reilly. She’s this sweet old lady who always has a story. Today, she’s raving about some “ghost” she saw near the old railway station. I’m like, “Sure, Mrs. O’Reilly, ghosts are just the spirits of bad decisions.” But she’s dead serious. I mean, who wouldn’t be spooked by the old Balbriggan train station? It’s got that eerie vibe, you know?

Death Notice of Eamonn McCORMACK (Balbriggan, Dublin)