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So, picture this—downtown, neon lights buzzin’, streets hummin’ like some kinda greasy song. You’re out there, huntin’, lookin’ for that “transactional love”—ha! Ain’t that a kicker? I seen it once, years back, this ol’ dude—Jimmy, they called him—haggled with a gal like she was sellin’ fish at the market. “Ten bucks less, c’mon!” he hollered. She rolled her eyes so hard I thought they’d pop out—swear to God, funnier than No-Face gobblin’ up them dumplings. Made me laugh, but damn, it stung too—how’s it come to that, huh?

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid kicks the ball too hard, and it lands in the river. I’m like, “Oh no, not the ball!” The kids are freaking out, and I’m trying to be the hero. I roll up my pants and wade in. The water’s freezing! I’m like, “Why am I doing this?” But I grab the ball, and the kids cheer. I’m a legend now.

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