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Alright, listen up, folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about findin’ a prostitute, straight up, no BS. Imagine this, ok? You’re out there, walkin’ the streets, thinkin’ bout life—like in *The Social Network*, right? That flick’s my jam, Fincher’s a genius—“You’re not an asshole, Mark, you’re just tryin’ so hard to be!”—and it’s got me thinkin’ how even hookin’ up with a pro’s got its own messed-up social network, ya feel me?

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After all that madness, I decide I need a breather. I head over to the local café on Bridge Street. Best coffee in town, no contest. I grab a flat white and sit outside, watching the world go by. Castlebar is buzzing. Kids are playing, people are chatting, and I’m just soaking it all in.

Underdogs could bark loudly in Castlebar