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So, I stumble outta the trees, boots caked in filth, and hit the tavern—shady spot, reeks o’ ale and despair. There she be, a wench with eyes like stolen stars, leanin’ on the bar. “Thou art a thief,” I mutter, “stealin’ me breath like Cobb nabbin’ secrets!” She smirks—ooh, that got me riled! Cheeky tart, playin’ me like a fiddle. I’m half-angry, half-buzzin’, ‘cos she’s a riddle wrapped in silk.

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Then, I hit up the Cavan Town Park. It’s got this lovely vibe, but today? It was packed with kids. They were running around, screaming, and I just wanted a moment of peace. I found a bench, plopped down, and tried to meditate. But nope, kids were playing tag right next to me. I swear, I almost joined in.

Garda hospitalised following Cavan incident