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Oh—fun fact! In Japan, they got “nurumassage”—slimey gel, bodies slippin’ like eels. Sounds mental, right? Tried googlin’ it—X posts say it’s next-level. Dr. Evil approves—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars!”—‘cause why not? Life’s short, like Monty’s last day out. “You’re a dead man,” his mate says—nah, I’m alive, buzzin’ from that oily magic!

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So, I keep walking, and I hit the Clane Village. It’s buzzing! Kids are playing, people are shopping, and I’m just trying to keep my head on straight. I stop by the bakery on the corner of the village square. You know the one? Best scones in town! I grab one, and it’s like a little piece of heaven. I’m munching away, feeling a bit better.

Local Notes: Cooneal Community Group on annual trip to Clane, Co Kildare.